Home for the Holidays
Tis the season for stress, special challenges.
Once again the holiday season is upon us. ‘Tis the season for mixed blessings.’ Along with the joys of the season come stressors. Many families get together after a long period of time without physically seeing each other. Because of the time and distance, changes in older loved ones become more noticeable. The holidays also may be a time when families face and discuss the difficult decisions about finding care for their older relative. Here are some of the changes that may indicate your loved one needs some extra help:
• Weight loss
• Bad personal hygiene or significant negative changes in personal hygiene
• Unusually cluttered, dirty or messy home
• Unusually loud or quiet, paranoid, agitated behavior
• Local friends and relatives are expressing concerns about changed behavior
• Self-imposed isolation, stops attending activities
• Signs of forgetfulness such as unopened mail, piling newspapers, not filling their prescriptions, or missed appointments
• Signs of poorly managed finances, such as not paying bills, losing money, paying bills twice or more, or hiding money
• Unusual purchases
If you notice changes that are of concern, a physical and neurological exam should identify any medical issues that your loved one is facing. After the medical issues are in hand, a good Geriatric Care Manager (GMC) can help your family assess what types of options are available to assist your loved one live a full, fruitful and safe life. A GCM is a professional who specializes in assisting seniors and their families with the issues surrounding aging. Suggestions may include a home health aide, adult day care, a bill paying service and/or many other things.
If your loved one can no longer live on his or her own, then the issue of where the person will live has to be decided. A family member’s home, assisted living, senior housing, or nursing home are all possible choices. These choices have many consequences. This is where having a good elder law attorney can provide much needed assistance.
If nursing home care is needed, Medicaid planning should be done to assist the loved one in qualifying for Medicaid as soon as practicable and thereby preserving as much of the loved one’s assets as possible. Many families incorrectly believe that all savings will be lost to pay for a nursing home stay. This is simply not true; a good elder law attorney should be able to protect all the assets of a married couple and a good portion of a single person’s savings.
Last, but certainly not least, your loved one should consult an elder law attorney to ensure that all alternative decision making documents such as a Health Care Proxy, Durable Power of Attorney and HIPAA release are in place and valid. A Health Care Proxy allows another person to make medical decisions for you if you become incompetent. A Durable Power of Attorney allows another person to handle legal or financial issues for another person. A HIPAA release allows others access to your medical records. All of these documents will allow family members to assist an older person who is facing physical or mental challenges. Actually, we all should have these documents in place in case we become incapacitated unexpectedly, whatever our age. If we have not chosen an alternative decision maker, the court will chose one for us through the guardianship process if needed. This process is complicated, time consuming, emotionally draining, and expensive.
The holidays are a time of joy and stress. If you come home to find your loved ones need some help, don’t worry -- there is a lot of support out there for caregivers. Contact an elder law attorney right away to start the process. Most likely the attorney will have good referrals to the other services you may need. If you need help establishing your estate plan call our office for a consultation.
This information is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For specific questions you should consult a qualified attorney. This article was written by Attorney Michelle D. Beneski of Surprenant & Beneski, P.C. The law firm has offices in New Bedford, Hyannis and Boston that specialize in estate, tax, Medicaid and disability planning.