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Bouncing Back From Hardship
By Dr. Denise Fleurant, PsyD, MFT
All of us experience major disruptions at certain points in our lives. In fact, this is an expected and predictable hallmark of the human condition. For some, these hard times come frequently - the impact of the trauma is overwhelming and recovery, if it comes at all, can be painfully slow. Other people show resilience and are able to glide through these times fairly easily. Resilience - the strength required to adapt to change - lies at the heart of mental and emotional health.
Research studies in recent years have focused on the struggles faced by those who have been emotionally, sexually, and physically abused as children, as well as those who have grown up with learning disabilities and attention deficit disorders. They share in common many of the characteristics of those who have endured traumas later in life, such as war, the loss of a loved one, natural disasters, financial catastrophes, or a major illness.
What has been most interesting in these studies is the finding that some traumatized people (both those with childhood abuse and other challenges, as well as those who experienced life disruptions in adulthood) suffered virtually no ill effects from the trauma! In fact, in many cases they seem to have grown stronger and led more integrated lives. This unexpected finding has guided researchers to explore the nature of resilience.
The normal life cycle contains predictable periods of life disruption. For example, when we move from childhood to adolescence, everything we had previously known about the world goes through a tremendous transformation. During this period of life disorganization, our bodies go through huge hormonal and developmental changes, our definitions of other people change, our motives and interests change, and we learn how to define ourselves as individuals. Similar stages of disruption occur when the adolescent moves into young adulthood, and then into a permanent relationship, possible parenting, middle age, and then retirement and aging. These periods of transformation can induce potent emotional reactions such as depression, anxiety, loneliness, and anger. Those who lack resilience find these changes to be a struggle. Others welcome the changes and move through the transformations easily and naturally.
Other periods of disruption can be caused by unexpected events that turn life upside down. An automobile accident, illness, the death of a loved one, divorce, national tragedies, war, the loss of employment, and financial disruptions can challenge our ability to cope. Any of these can become "make or break" situations, depending on the degree to which resilience comes into play.
We all have the capacity to reorganize our lives after a disruption and to achieve new levels of order and meaningfulness if we know how to activate our resilience. In fact, in order to mature through the process of life, we may need to experience disruptions. Life hardships help us grow and learn to meet future challenges in our lives.
All of us can learn methods to become more resilient. Sometimes, however, our lack of closure on previous life experiences blocks us from adapting to new periods of stress as they come along. Developing resilience also depends on many factors in addition to achieving closure on previous life experiences. By working with a professional psychotherapist or counselor we can learn to emphasize the characteristics that are necessary to deal with life's disruptions.
Dr. Denise Fleurant, PsyD, MFT
Dr. Denise A. Fleurant, PsyD, MFT is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist working as a private practitioner in the Newport area. Dr. Fleurant holds an M.A. in Marriage and Family Therapy from Chapman University, a Doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology from American Behavioral Studies Institute in California and a Post-Doctoral degree in Clinical Psychopharmacology from the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology.
Dr. Fleurant is a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. She is a certified diplomate of Psychotherapy of the American Psychotherapy Association and Certified Relationship Specialist. Dr. Fleurant is an affiliate member of the Midwest Center for Anxiety and Depression and continually receives advanced training in integretice medicine.
Newport Psychological Services Counseling and Assessment Center has two locations:227 West Main Road in Middletown, RI 02842, and The Polo Center, 680 Aquidneck Avenue, Middletown RI 02842. The office is handicapped accessible. Regular office hours are accommodated with evening and weekend appointments as needed.
Please call (401) 864-1493 for more information or to schedule an appointment.
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