Search Articles
Browse Categories
Creating a Strong, Supportive Family
By Dr. Denise Fleurant, PsyD, MFT
One key to an emotionally healthy life is having the backing of a strong, supportive family. A strong family may be as small as two people or as large as a kinship network of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. The size of the family does not matter as much as the feeling of belonging and the sense of sustenance that emerges from living with stable familial support. People seem to do better in life when they have the feeling of belonging to something larger, and stronger, than they are individually. A familial network diminishes the uncertainties that derive from the stresses of everyday living.
A Sense of Commitment to the Family
A commitment is a pledge or a promise. Applied to family life, it is a sense of responsibility or duty to the family that overrides temporary conflicts or times of crisis. At the core of sacrificing for the family is the idea of putting the interests of others ahead of one’s own – a notion that reflects moral values and integrity. If everyone in the family is too busy with outside activities, rearrange schedules so that more time can be spent together with the family.
Showing Appreciation and Building Self-Esteem
Healthy families share in common the ability to show appreciation to each other. We declare that we can see the positive qualities of the other person. This message is crucial to emotional wellness because it is a core building block of self-esteem. Parents and siblings have a strong influence in molding children to see themselves as either good or bad. Strong families cherish their members, show that they are valued, and build self-esteem in their members that can be carried on to the next generation.
Sharing Positive Communication
Positive communication involves both talking and listening. One research study has shown that the average couple spends seventeen minutes per week in conversation. Communication helps us to feel connected, and because members of strong families feel free to exchange information and ideas, they become good problem solvers. A good way to do this is to set aside time for family meetings or talking over the dinner table each night.
Spending Time Together
Just spending time, doing nothing in particular, eases our feelings of isolation and loneliness, builds relationships, contributes to a feeling of security, and helps to create a sense of family identity. Spending time together can involve eating meals together, doing household chores together, celebrating special events and holidays, and participating in community activities, indoor recreation (playing games, working on puzzles) or outdoor activities (taking a walk, camping, picnicking).
Coping with Stress and Crisis
All families experience the challenge of a crisis at certain times. Some families fall apart when faced with a crisis like illness, death, or financial setbacks. Strong families draw on each other’s strengths. They pool their resources, work together, get help from outside support systems, keep communication open in the face of the strong emotions of a crisis, and draw on their shared spiritual beliefs. When a family is strong, it is able to maintain the flexibility necessary to weather the crisis, and family members expect a positive resolution in the end.
Developing a Plan for Building a Strong Family
Some people believe that their families are too troubled to change. They feel that their families bring out the worst in each other and that they are plagued with insurmountable problems. They feel hopeless about changing their family life.
It may take the trained eye of a professional therapist to help a family move from this feeling of failure to one of success. An outsider can often observe patterns that family members themselves are not able to see. The support of a therapist can lead a family, one step at a time, through the process of identifying problems, developing strategies for dealing with each problem, and then following through. A family has everything to gain by deciding to work on building its strength. Home should be a vital, secure, and enhancing place – where comfort and support reside.
Dr. Denise Fleurant, PsyD, MFT
Dr. Denise A. Fleurant, PsyD, MFT is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist working as a private practitioner in the Newport area. Dr. Fleurant holds an M.A. in Marriage and Family Therapy from Chapman University, a Doctoral degree in Clinical Psychology from American Behavioral Studies Institute in California and a Post-Doctoral degree in Clinical Psychopharmacology from the Massachusetts School of Professional Psychology.
Dr. Fleurant is a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. She is a certified diplomate of Psychotherapy of the American Psychotherapy Association and Certified Relationship Specialist. Dr. Fleurant is an affiliate member of the Midwest Center for Anxiety and Depression and continually receives advanced training in integretice medicine.
Newport Psychological Services Counseling and Assessment Center has two locations:227 West Main Road in Middletown, RI 02842, and The Polo Center, 680 Aquidneck Avenue, Middletown RI 02842. The office is handicapped accessible. Regular office hours are accommodated with evening and weekend appointments as needed.
Please call (401) 864-1493 for more information or to schedule an appointment.
Unrated
Comments
- No Comments Found. Submit Comment
|
Article Options |
Share your Opinion and WIN!
Take our quick survey & enter to WIN a gift certificate.