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How You Can Help
By Deborah Johansen
Your support can make a difference to someone who has been assaulted. There are ways to help a person in recovery from rape or attempted rape. Here are some ways you can respond in a helpful manner.
1. Be a good listener.
Let them know that they can talk with you. Listen carefully and respond to feelings as well as words.
2. Believe them.
People rarely make up stories of rape. It is not necessary for you to decide if they were “really raped.” If they say they were, that should be enough.
3. Reassure them.
Blaming questions such as “Why didn’t you yell?” or “Why did you leave the party with him anyway?” are not helpful. Instead you might say, “It is difficult to yell when you are frightened” or “Leaving the party with him did not give him the right to rape you.” Point out what they did to survive and remind them that they are not responsible for the assailant's actions.
4. Respect their privacy.
Don’t tell others what they told you. Let them decide who should know. Encourage them to seek support and assistance from others. (family, friends, counselors, teachers, a hospital or the police.)
5. Take care of yourself.
Hearing about the sexual assault of a friend or family member is upsetting. You may feel scared, angry, helpless or sad. You may want to talk about your feelings and can contact a rape crisis center.
Deborah Johansen
Please feel free to contact Deborah Johansen at (877) 850-8240.
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