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Recognizing an Unhealthy Relationship
By Julie Lizotte
One of the essential elements to achieving a better life is the quality of our relationships. Published research indicates that relationships can actually contribute to a person’s longevity and well being. An image of an active and happily-retired couple enjoying themselves on the golf course comes to mind. But what happens if you suspect that your relationship is not so blissful and may actually be considered unhealthy? Trust your intuition. It is probably right on target.
Carefully assessing your relationship is a great place to start. We often think our partner’s behavior will change – say, if they get that promotion or our financial situation improves. We sometimes will even blame ourselves for their actions and behaviors. To understand your relationship, ask yourself the following questions.
• Are you surrounded by loving and supportive relationships?
• Does your partner respect you physically, emotionally and verbally?
• Is your relationship causing you to feel stressed, exhausted and/or depressed?
• Are you always compromising your needs and wants to please your partner?
• Does your relationship have good communication and a balance of activities to suit both partners?
• Do you gravitate to a controlling partner or are you an enabler?
After answering these questions, you may be asking yourself if you are in an unhealthy relationship. Some women will stay in relationships because they do not recognize their partner’s unhealthy behavior or they don’t realize there might be another way of living outside of the unhealthy relationship. It is important to identify why we have made certain choices in our relationships and what influenced our decisions. Once you have assessed your relationship you can see what, if anything, needs to change.
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